Ahh, Super Bowl Sunday.  The greatest day of the year.  Unless, of course, you’re a Minnesota Viking fan.  Then it’s just plain torture.  But enough about me, let’s talk about this year’s Super Bowl.  Peyton Manning’s Forehead and the Indianapolis Colts against Drew Brees and that thing on his face.  Oh, and the New Orleans Saints are there too.

 

Why do I think this game is going to be a giant letdown?  Well, there are a few reasons. 

 

1) The Vikings aren’t there.  I love you, Brett Favre, but for the love of God, DON’T THROW ACROSS YOUR BODY WITH 30 SECONDS TO GO IN THE NFC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!!!!!!!.  Oh, and would someone please remove Brad Childress’ head from his ass.  Thank you.  This game ended a week ago and I’m still not over it.  Then again, the 1999 NFC championship was over 11 years ago, and I’m not over that either.  We here in Minnesota are incredibly good at holding onto things like this.   It’s probably why a majority of us are alcoholics.  But I digress….

 

2)  The Saints defense is so incredibly overrated.  Peyton Manning’s Forehead (PMF) is going to tear this defense apart.  Yes, they’re opportunistic, and they’re going to take every shot they can at PMF, whether it be on a blitz or just a good ol’ cheap shot.  There’s a funny thing about PMF though.  If you watched the AFC championship, the New York Jets beat the ever living hell out of him in that first half.  So what happened?  PMF got pissed off, and absolutely destroyed the BEST DEFENSE in football the second half of that game.  Do you know where the Saints rank on that scale?  Twenty-Five.  Out of 32.  Last I checked, being number 1 was a hell of a lot better than number 25. 

 

3)  Darren Sharper.  Quite possibly the most overrated football player in the history of the world.  Yes, he makes big plays.  Yes, he does that stupid little “Sharper Shake” after he makes one of those big plays.  What you don’t see is how often he gambles and screws up.  Trust me, I watched this for 4 years in Minnesota.  Mark my words, he will gamble on Sunday at the wrong time, and PMF will make him pay for it.  I can’t wait to see it.  If you hear a loud, cackling laugh after a Colts touchdown on Sunday, it’s probably me.  And I apologize for that.  Sort of.

 

4) No women in skimpy outfits playing the greatest sport in the world.  I mean, come on, what’s better than incredibly good looking women that are half dressed playing football?  If you can find this, please email me, call me, facebook me, page me, SOS me, morse code…..whatever it takes. Get all your LingerieBowl VII access and information here.

 

Now, could the Saints win this game?  Sure.  It could happen.  Never say never in football.  But when it comes down to it, go with the team that expected to be there, not the team that is just happy to be there.  The Saints are thrilled to be in this game, and will surely enjoy the ride.  PMF and the Colts?  They expected to be here, prepared all year to be here, and won’t be distracted by all the hoopla.  As much as it pains me, I’m going to take PMF and the Colts as winners.  31-17. 

 

One more thing, for all you Viking fans out there.  When you inevitably start drinking at 9am on Super Bowl Sunday (as opposed to the normal start time of noon) and you start to think about how the Vikings should be here and all that, just remember that it could be worse.  We could be Detroit Lions fans.